Tomorrow arrives...four months later...

OK, I'm late. The Steelers won the Superbowl.

Anyway, I'm posting because I am now writing for 11lions.co.uk which is a blog following the fortunes of the England football team up to including the World Cup Finals in South Africa next year. I've also got another project lined up for the next Premiership season, which I'll reveal as soon as the Premiership fixtures come out.

Thanks for reading, I promise to post a little more regularly from now on.

Elitism

I'm not going to bother with the bottom two divisions in the Football League this season as I no longer have any interest in them. I hope I don't look back on this in a years' time and regret writing this. Early indications show that I might not, but 'football...bloody hell!' to quote Alex Ferguson...which brings me nicely on to...

Division 1 Game Of The Week: Everton v Man Utd

United basically won the championship last season with their come from behind win at Goodison Park. Although it's a bit early in the proceedings for this game to have that kind of impact it's still a must win for United and a must win for Everton if they're going to be taken seriously. ESPN Soccernet is reporting that Wayne Rooney will be in the ManYoo squad although whether he's there to play or to wind up Everton fans is another matter.

Division 2 Game Of The Week: Coventry City v Bristol City

And deservedly so. First v Third; we knocked Cov out of the FA Cup last season and they won't have liked that.

Division 1 One Sided Nonsense: Derby v Newcastle

Anti-game of the week because Derby are probably this year's Watford and Michael Owen is on a hot streak after scoring a brace against the Soviet Union on Wednesday. Not surprisingly, Newcastle are favourites.

Division 2 One Sided Nonsense: Leicester v QPR

But only because there are four points between them...which isn't saying much.

Division 2 Down Upside Is League Football The: Preston v Sheffield Wednesday

Both these clubs were either in or hovering around the playoffs last season and now they are the bottom two. You wouldn't expect this to last, but you never know. The Wendies looked poor when we beat them a couple of weeks ago.

So what, who cares:

Orient are top of Division 3. Some team called Nottingham Forest are currently 20th, which is worse than Bristol Rovers (who lost 3-0 at home to Leeds last night). Colin 'Fcuk Off' Calderwood is still Forest manager, but for how much longer?

If anyone cares (and I don't anymore) Darlington and Chesterfield are top of Division 4.

Futbol Americano

This season I'm just going to concentrate on the teams who I've backed in the NFL and the BCS and so far - after one game - things are decidedly mixed.

The Packers, Steelers, 49ers and Broncos all won in Week 1 and all have a reasonable chance of doing the same thing this weekend. If the Packers beat the Bears, the NFC Central becomes extremely interesting as there will be two teams with 2-0 records: if they don't the winner of Minnesota v Detroit will lead the division. Despite Chicago reaching the Superbowl last season, this division is not a strong one - hence the bet on Green Bay.

The Raiders travel to Denver. Josh McCown is allegedly out for three weeks so I imagine Dante Culpepper will start, backed up by Andrew Walter and with newly signed JaMarcus Russell as the third option. Great. The Broncos by about a zillion.

Tampa, Jacksonville and Philadelphia all lost. The Buccs have a tough game against the Saints, the loser will be 0-2 and it'll be time for all those statistical cliches to appear on Tuesday. The Jaguars should beat Atlanta and I expect Philly to beat a Redskins team that only won in overtime last weekend.

There are a couple of other games worth keeping an eye on. The Cheating Yankee Bastards have San Diego at home but arguably the most intriguing game of the week is the Jets travelling to Baltimore. The loser drops to 0-2 and although Jets QB Chad Pennington will not be playing, there are all sorts of wild rumours that Ravens LB Ray Lewis may be out for the season. I'm conflicted by this. I have the Ravens D in my fantasy league (I also drafted the Packers D for 'insurance purposes') and hopefully Baltimore will play well - but not well enough - to stop the Steelers from winning the division and therefore preventing me from collecting my bet.

The Cheating Yankee Bastards got their reward (sorry, punishment) yesterday and now - not surprisingly - their Superbowl wins are under scrutiny.

In a parallel sporting universe, another cheating case came to something of a conclusion this week. This will probably be the first and only time that Formula One makes it into this blog but the McLaren team and the CYBs were both caught doing something they shouldn't in order to increase their 'competitive edge'. This is what can happen when you don't play nice.





Arguably the simplest way to increase your competitive edge is to win a game. So it's rather bemusing to report that Michigan plays Notre Dame later in a game that one of them has to win. Both teams are 0-2 and although I saw the Michigan/Oregon game last week I've not seen ND yet...but both teams may be really awful.

LSU welcomes Middle Tennessee. This could get ugly early but although they lost the Blue Raiders put 42 points on Louisville last week. LSU will still win and there will be a lot of points.

FSU is in Boulder, CO for a game at...well, Colorado. Both teams are 1-1 and this is Colorado's home opener.

I'm going to a wedding party tonight so the next post may well be on Monday. I've got a day off and I'm going to fritter it away ;-)

Oh yeah, England Egg Chasers were shut out to the tune of 33 points by Sarth Effrika in the Ruggery World Cup on Friday. I can gloat at the moment, but I wouldn't be surprised if Wales get stuffed by a similar score by Oz today.

Official: The Oakland Raiders are sh*t.

Let's be honest: in a Madame-Zazaesque moment I saw this coming.

If I had Photoshop on this machine, the ND navy and gold would be replaced by Raider Silver and Black, because due to a ridiculous win over the Dallas Cowboys by the Detroit Lions, the Oakland Raiders have the first pick in the NFL draft in April. Whether or not Brady Quinn is the right decision remains to be seen.

Without going into too much detail here, when Charlie Weis came to South Bend Quinn had been struggling in Tyrone Willingham's offense and despite the progress he's made since, the situation in Oakland is not conducive to anyone's confidence (or sanity), especially when he might be thrust into a situation where there may be a new head coach/offensive co-ordinator with Al Davros harping on about the good old days of the vertical passing game.

For the last time, I am your Creator! You will obey me!

Without boring anyone to tears, there is some wonderful talent on the board - as always. Now it's time for the non-playoff teams to work out who they want to take. I'll have some kind of draft preview in the weeks after the Superbowl, but here's a heretical thought: how about Adrian Peterson with first pick and give Andrew Walter a chance to develop?

The other prediction from almost a month ago - that an NFC team with a .500 record would qualify for post season - also came true, even though the New York Giants only clinched that spot with their first win for something like half the season. They beat out Carolina, St Louis and Green Bay and may have ended Brett Favre's pro career.

Right, back over here for a bit. Manyoo now have a six point lead over Chelsea (keep up at the back there) in what is annoyingly referred to as the 'EPL', although they can extend it to nine if they beat Nyurr-cassel today; Chelsea play Aston Villa tomorrow evening. Watford are already ten points away from safety at the bottom and play Full Ham today in a game that not too long ago would have been in the lower half of the league. In Division 1, Brum also have a six point lead (over Preston and Derby), but I'm hoping that Southampton do well this season because I NEVER EVER WANT TO BE STUCK AT THAT BLOODY RAILWAY STATION AGAIN.

By far and away the most exciting situation is in Division 3.

Now I've been away over the Christmas period but due to the wonders of modern technology I've been able to determine a pattern in City's last three games that I should find worrying but don't. Having to come back from a goal - or even two - down to pick up five of the nine points available is typical Bristol City. I'm sure Forest fans are saying the same thing now they've been caught and overtaken by Scunny, so let's have a gander at today's games with Jimmy Hill, who seems to be reporting from 'The World At War' studio this week.

'Tonight we'll be looking at how the Germans used a modified Schlieffen plan to outflank the French..'

'Well, there's a real four pointer at the top of Division 3 this afternoon when third placed Old Ham Athletic take on second placed Nottingham Forest at Boundary Park. Even though Old Ham have already beaten Forest in the league this season, I'm expecting a tightly contested game that will probably finish in a draw.

'Leaders Scunthorpe United travel to Port Vale - The Iron haven't conceded a goal away from home since the beginning of November*, but the Valiants home form has improved recently. I'm expecting a tightly contested game that will probably finish in a draw

'Fourth placed Bristol City visit Leyton Orient for the second time this season, having already won at Brisbane Road in the Watney Cup. Despite their impressive home form City haven't won away in the league since the end of September** so I'm expecting a tightly contested game that will probably finish in a draw. Over to Tony Gubba for thirty seconds of highlights, most of which will be of a dog urinating on a goal post.

Right, well if that's everything, I'm off for a drink, off to see my, erm, nephew at the, erm, ice-rink, yes that's it, huur. Bye.'

I'm off too, to the virtual bookies to spend some of the money the Philadelphia Eagles won for me yesterday. Jimmy might be on to something: all three are 9/4 for the draw.

Coming soon: Dead Painters I Hate.

* Oh Christ, the Recipe For Success (TM) for Division 3 football - win at home, don't let any in away. Monday 5th February on SkySports if you're interested. Watch in horror as the playoff nightmare becomes reality.

** See immediately above

There is no joy in Oaktown now...

Read it and weep.

The stark truth: the Oakland Raiders cannot compete in the NFL. What's the point of any sort of football if your favourite team can't compete? You can't get relegated in the NFL, which is a shame because that's exactly what should happen to the Raiders for being so chronically poor over the last few seasons.

It's predictable, hilarious...and it hurts like hell. It diminishes my enjoyment of the season. The only upside I can think of is that when you look at some of the poor teams that within a half decade turned themselves around (the Cowboys, Bills and...through gritted teeth...the Bucs) and did really well then the law of averages indicates that at some point the Raiders will return to prominence. Until then, I won't be holding my breath.

It would be nice if all the teams I support did well, but you can't have everything. And the one that's always frustrated just as much as the Raiders do on is doing very nicely thank you even though this is the wrong Scott Murray.

'Our' Scott Murray

Nottingham Forest lost 1-3 at home to Latent Orient, Scunny Rovers lost by the same score to Blackpoo and now Bristol City are second in Division 3, four points behind Forest and a point ahead of Scunthorpe - after having beaten Millwall by a goal after sixteen seconds by The Incredible Levitating Murray.

If you think I'm going to have a pop at Millwall FC here, then you've come to the wrong place. They looked a poor team on Saturday but we should have done better than 1-0. Still, the old truism applies: we played badly and won. Next time we meet them it's the last away game of the season, unless we get them in the Cup.

Madame Zaza predicts: it could be an important game for both teams, but we'll have no talk of...well...you know what. The 'P' word.

Of course Millwall have still got some undesirable elements attached to them, but so do we and so does every other club up and down the country, including our old rivals The Gas and Swindle, who covered themselves in glory on Saturday with an exchange of furniture and some alleged racial abuse of the Sikh referee. I can't believe I even wasted that many words on either of them.

Division 1 got much tighter yesterday as Chelsea pulled one out of the bag against Everton and WHam beat Manyoo. Just to prove I'm not biased, here's a gratuitous picture of Bobby Moore who was one of my very first sporting heroes when I was a little kid all those years ago.

Proper.

Sunday Stuffing

Manyoo are nine points ahead of Chelski in Division 1 (although they have played two games more than Shabby Peasant's mob), the bottom three (West Ham, Charlton and Watford) already look in serious trouble. It's Chelski v The Arse this afternoon at Stamford Bridge and I find myself in the position of wanting Obscene's lot to win, even though I don't think they will; they've never liked it up 'em as this clip from earlier in the season shows.


West Ham just beat you. West Ham!

Peculiar Division 1 stats of the week: Man City have only conceded one goal at home this season (19 let in away!) and despite being eighth and three points away from a potential European Cup spot, Spurs haven't won away.

Ten points separates the top nine teams in Division 2, Birmingham City and Derby County lead the way. At the bottom Southend United and Hull City have an air of despair about them (even though Southend beat Southampton yesterday) but quite what Leeds United are doing down there is beyond me. Perhaps I should investigate.

Ten points also separates the top six in Division 3 but there's a five point gap between Nottingham Forest and second placed Scunthorpe United who are now ahead of City by two points. It's knees up cockney ding dong time at the bottom, with two of the four clubs in the drop zone coming from The Smoke, although next week's opponents (Millwall*) managed to pull themselves out of the bottom four after beating Bradford 2-0 yesterday.

If you take the Man City stat above and reverse it, you have Northampton Town. They've only let in six goals on their travels this season (as many as Forest and Scunthorpe and five less than City) but they've been absolutely dreadful at Sixfields this season.

Story of the year is Rotherham United. Having been docked ten points for going into administration, they've clawed their way back up the table and if they'd not had that penalty they'd be a potential play off team. We got a point up there yesterday and that's a bloody good result.

Walsall have a seven point lead in Division Four despite having lost to second placed Swindle on Saturday. It's pretty tight after that. Right at the bottom of the league we have Paul Inces' Macclesfield Town, seven points adrift of three clubs on 20 points.

In the Nationwide Conference, Oxford United lead the way. 20 years ago they were in Division 1; 30 odd years ago they played Sunderland in the first ever league game I saw.

Oxford United's old Manor Ground: now flats apparently.

On the other side of the pond, there are only three weeks left in the regular season and the play off picture is a little clearer.

In the AFC, both Indianapolis and San Diego (currently on a six game winning streak - they can clinch the division title today with a win over Denver and put £3.20 into my pocket!) have 10-2 records with New England and Baltimore leading their respective divisions but a game behind. After that it gets messy again with five teams on 7-5 records, including the 'surprise of the year' New York Jets. In the NFC Da Bears have clinched their division but there doesn't seem to be a lot of confidence in Rex Grossman; Dallas, New Orleans and Seattle top the other divisions with 8-4 records but then it's a pile up with the possibility that a team with a .500 record could reach the post season.

(There's still a long way to go yet, but the application of the 'offense wins games, defense wins championships' theory still seems to indicate a Ravens/Bears Superbowl in February. But the angle for that one could be Steve McNair v Brian Griese...)

Now on to the only possible interest left for any Raider fan: the race for first pick is currently between Oakland and Detroit. What are the odds that 2006 Heismann Trophy winnner Troy Smith won't end up with either of them? Probably not that bad: a lot of self proclaimed experts think that if Detroit ends up with the initial choice they'll take Notre Dame quarterback Brady Quinn.

So that's Scott Mitchell, George Plympton, Jon Kitna and...

But that would be underestimating the Raiders ability to self destruct even further. Including today's games, the Lions have a slightly easier schedule: their opponents are 27-21 for the season and their last two regular season games may be 'meaningless' as Chicago has already qualified for the playoffs and Dallas may not need the win in the last game. On the other hand, Oakland plays three teams with post season aspirations (Cincinnati, Kansas and the Jets). It's not inconceivable that the Raiders may end the season 2-14 and be rewarded with the overall first round pick.

Oh God, I'll consider what a potential disaster that could be when the season is over. It'll happen and we'll pick the wrong player.

MSK's games of the week: Baltimore at Kansas and New Orleans at Dallas. Stuffing: Oakland at Cincinnati.

* I feel a midweek post coming on.

Far Too Much Going On

I need more TV sets.

Here's the situation this weekend: I'm not too interested in watching the England v South Africa rugby union game this afternoon, which means I can watch ESPN College Game Day (which for some reason has returned to NASN) but then comes the first conflict of the day: Wales v New Zealand or Florida v FSU?

As the Florida derby is actually for something (Arkansas lost to LSU last night and a Florida win would give them a psychological advantage going into the SEC championship game on 2nd December), then I'm tempted to go with that. There may be a lot of switching around though.

It gets even messier tomorrow. City are at Swansea (easy - radio and mobile phone), although if this happens again I won't be very happy at all.


Total and utter humiliation.

I don't care if Tinman made a balls of his time as a manager down here. He should still be regarded as a legend.

Anyway, here's the Sunday lineup:

8:30am USC v Notre Dame (the other option is to watch it live...KO 1:00am)
1:00pm Swansea v Bristol City
4:00pm Manyoo v Chelsea
6:00pm Saints v Falcons, Bears at Patriots plus another couple of games on the Sky interactive service.

Far, far easier to digest.

Both USC/Notre Dame and Manyoo/Chelsea are huge games as they should in theory provide clues to the outcomes of both the College Football and Premiership championships this season, although obviously the stakes are far higher in Los Angeles this weekend as it's the end of the season rather than the middle of it. I'd love to be able to give you some analysis but as time is precious this weekend I'm going to have no shame in linking to the outstanding Notre Dame blog The Blue Gray Sky.

Madame Zaza will be contributing something tomorrow around lunchtime, but I'm going to sign off today with Knute Rockne.


'On the road we're somebody else's guests - and we play in a way that they're not going to forget we visited them.'

Go Irish!